Making love is something most people dream of, but it can be difficult to achieve when sex and intimacy are treated as separate activities. There are some things that set it apart from just having sex – like slowing down, communicating through intimate dialogue and having oodles of foreplay – but there’s also the emotional component, which can be even more important to a couple.
Many of us have slept with someone we didn’t have feelings for before, whether it was a drunken hookup with a stranger or sex with a ‘friend with benefits’. Those types of experiences aren’t the same as making love – they’re just sex, with no other attachment or emotional connection involved. Making love is a much more serious and intentional act, which is why it’s so special for those who are able to experience it with the person they care about most.
One of the biggest differences between making love and just having sex is commitment. Being committed to someone makes the experience much more romantic, as it’s usually carried out between two people who know each other, and probably love each other too. It’s impossible to feel the emotional bond and intimacy of making love when you’re not on the same page as your partner, or if there’s other stress outside of the bedroom.
Another way to see if your partner is making love instead of just having sex is to look at the way they treat you. If they’re sexy with you, and take the time to put on some sexy cologne or deodorant, it means they want to impress you and show their physical affection. They’ll probably also talk to you in a deep voice that makes you feel important and special, rather than in a light or casual tone.
You can also tell by the way they care for you in bed, whether it’s telling you sweet and poetic stuff about how much they love you or checking to make sure you’re comfortable throughout the experience. They’ll ask you what positions and sensations you prefer in bed and listen to your requests. They’ll give you feedback and try to reach the same pleasure level as you so that you can both enjoy sex as much as possible.
Lastly, they’ll never try to hurt you during sex and will always go easy on you, even if they’re extremely aroused. Making love isn’t about how hard they can orgasm you, it’s about the pleasure of touching, smelling, talking and kissing. It’s a journey that’s often more memorable than the end result, and it can be a great way to show your partner how much you really care about them. The art of making love starts long before you get into the bedroom. It requires an emotional connection that builds over time, and it’s not a goal to be reached in a day or week, but a constant endeavour to connect and communicate through intimacy.