Intimacy For Married Couples – Making Love on a Different Level
Making love has long been viewed as an act between a man and a woman. While there may typically be some implication that making love entails a somewhat specific kind of sex that is more erotic, more intimate, or spiritual, the term ‘making love’ itself can apply to a wide range of activities. And regardless of how you choose to define it, making love is a romantic event. “Making love is a term that seems to mean different things to different people; however, the intent behind the term is always the romantic idea of two people coming together for a short period of time to engage in physical intimacy,” says Elizabeth Pantley, PhD, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Making Love.
Whether you’re engaging in casual physical contact like making out in your bedroom in one week or making love and getting close on a camping trip in another country, you’ll likely describe the event in different ways. Pantley likens the act to the development of a friendship. When you meet someone for the first time, you don’t immediately make love to that person. Instead, you make a gesture, a promise, a request, anything that sparks a warm connection or sparks an interest, until that initial spark wanes. It may be weeks, months, or possibly even years before you engage in physical intimacy again.
The idea of casual sex arose as a response to the desire to create an intimate connection between two people at a faster rate. “Rural and farming communities are the perfect places for making love, as the pace is slow and intimate, and relationships are more symbiotic, intimate, and mutually supported,” according to Pantley. Urban living is fast paced and less intimate.
But whether you’re living in the suburbs or in the city, you can still make love to your partner just as you would anywhere else. If you feel like your relationship is moving too quickly for casual sex, you can still do it. Think about what makes you feel good when you kiss your partner good night on Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s the sight of their smile or their embrace when you’re walking together. You can still use this same technique when making love with your husband or boyfriend.
As much as you might think about sex as being something that only men do, it’s really not true. According to Pantley, women have sexual fantasies just as much as men do. If you’re having a bit of trouble coming up with ideas, there are books that outline exactly how to go about creating a love affair with your partner. Even if you’re not ready to head down to the local sex shop and have an actual physical encounter, you can still create that same intimate feeling by thinking about your sexual fantasies. This will help you both create that same level of intimacy that you have when you’re making love to each other on a different level.
So stop looking at making love like it’s an unpleasant chore. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to create an intimate connection that will lead to a more satisfying emotional connection. Your intimate moments with your partner will be stronger because you’re not focusing on something outside of your relationship. Start thinking about it today, so you can take advantage of all of the ways it can improve your marriage.