Making love can mean many different things to two people experiencing it for the first time. To the non-inclined, making love could mean a very casual relationship, and may refer to having sexual intercourse. To the more establishment, making love could mean the full spectrum of things from the casual, domestic act involving touching of breasts and genitals to the deeply personal, emotional connection achieved through the act of making love to each other. Whatever the term used, one thing is certain: the act of making love is an integral part of a marriage relationship.
Making love is also another way of saying, although often there’s an implied meaning that making love usually involves some sort of sexual activity, which is more intimate, more romantic, or spiritual in nature. That’s not necessarily the case. Although the two genders can and do make love, for the purposes of this article, the focus will be on the male experience. Male making love is understood by most people to involve the male engaging in a one-week period of physical intimacy with another person. The weeklong act of making love is seen by most people as a test, a gauge of a relationship’s maturity and readiness to move forward into the next phase.
The idea of making love as a weeklong event, rather than a specific, discrete act is an interesting one. There are several reasons why this occurs. One reason is that physical intimacy with another person is easier to sustain for longer periods of time if those feelings of intimacy are not abruptly interrupted. Intercourse, while it is natural to engage in it at least once a week, is unnatural and often viewed negatively by a person if it occurs more frequently.
Another reason that frequent physical contact makes for stronger emotional connections is that the act of making love requires more than a simple, one-time connection; there is some sort of exchange of power, which creates an intimate relationship. When one partner touches another, it is a sign of love and opens the door to developing an emotional connection. Physical intimacy and sharing of power create powerful feelings within the individual making love. Because the male is the one initiating the contact, he is typically the one who initiates the touching. Touching allows the male to establish a link between his physical touch and the emotional connection.
For both men and women, making love requires a different level of consciousness than simply having sex. Although it is natural to make love when one is sexually aroused, having sex without intimacy can cause the same kinds of intense, physiological and neurological responses that occur during sexual arousal. It can be difficult to make love when you are not comfortable or experienced at having sex. When you make love with your partner in this different level of consciousness, it creates a powerful, deeper emotional connection.
By deepening his awareness of his body and his sexuality, a man can begin to create new things in his relationship with his partner. One of the best ways that you can help him create new things in his relationship is to ask him questions about what he enjoys making love to you. Start by being a good listener. Ask him about his preferences – what position he likes to have sex in, what his favorite scent is and so on. By listening to him and caring about what he enjoys, you give him permission to share those interests with you as well. This will deepen your relationship – making love is a wonderful experience, but it also takes a lot of work.
