How to Express Your Sexual Ideas and Feelings With Your Partner

Making love is another common term for fellatio, though sometimes there’s an implied meaning that making love typically involves a kind of less-formal, less-romantic, or non-spiritual sex. “When people say,’making love,’ they may actually mean romantically intimate sex, or fellatio, with someone they’re in particularly close love with,” says Karen Muscatine, PhD, author of the new book, Making Love: Connecting Your Body, Mind, and Spirit. “The dictionary definition is ‘to copulate’ or ‘to indulge in sexual intercourse.’ “

There’s no doubt that sex and love are closely related, yet there are many different levels of intimacy, and everyone has the power to transform their physical, mental, and emotional connection into a deeper, richer, and longer relationship. For example, making love can be thought of as a physical exercise, which requires stamina, strength, and flexibility. By stretching and strengthening the physical connection between you and your partner during fellatio, you can achieve intimacy on a different level. Conversely, there can also be a spiritual component to fellatio, which originates in your spiritual beliefs and practices. If you and your partner are not in tune with one another on a spiritual level, your physical connection won’t resonate with your spiritual one, and the connection won’t be as fulfilling.

What really matters about how you feel about your sexual intercourse isn’t what’s written on the sex-love axis. Really, what matters most is how you feel about yourself and your partner as individuals. And, how do you feel? Are you open, loving, compassionate, and patient? Do you find it easy to let things go, to move on, and trust your partner when they need support? These qualities will guide you through your own inner journey during sexual intercourse.

While you may be in tune with what you’re feeling during sex or you may not, that doesn’t mean you’re always in tune with how you and your partner are feeling. That’s okay! You shouldn’t try to force your feelings and you certainly shouldn’t be controlling them either. When making love, you want to enjoy the experience as much as your partner does, and it’s best to just let things happen without trying to control them or judge them in some way.

By learning how to let go and to be free to experience your own unique sexual feelings, you’ll find that you can give and receive love from your partner in a whole new way. “Making love” is really an act of compassion – a bonding process between two people. It’s an expression of your deepest values and beliefs. And, connecting with your own inner being is a powerful way to bring those values and beliefs to the physical act of making love.

Learning how to make love better means that you also learn to be more open to your own feelings and to allow yourself to experience pleasure along with your partner. When you’re making love, there are no right or wrong thoughts. Feelings come and go, and while you might think that one partner is more erotic than another, that’s really none of your business. Just relax, let things happen, and enjoy!