Making love, like eating, is a process which requires energy and mental clarity. In order to experience the greatest possible satisfaction in your sexual activity, you need to be open to your partner’s sexual wants and needs. The more you nurture your feelings of uncertainty about your own sexuality, the less likely you are to experience shame or resentment when your lover asks you to do something new or try something bold. You also have to be willing to listen carefully to your partner’s feedback and actively encourage change if it makes you feel uncomfortable about your own behavior or reaction. Finally, you need to be emotionally open enough to let your partner know when he or she isn’t enjoying the sex you’re having or if you two are struggling to communicate the ways your sex is evolving.
If you’re having trouble communicating with your partner about the changes taking place in your sexual relationship, try some new things. For example, one way to make love more open and honest is to consider your partners’ thoughts and opinions when you make advances on them. Listen carefully when your partner protests a particular move you make; listening is the first step toward resolving any conflict or misunderstandings that might be preventing a full and healthy connection. It takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself when your integrity is questioned, but if you feel strongly about what you want, it won’t matter how afraid people might be of your new ideas.
One way to make love more connected is to do it in different places. After you’ve had a few orgasms, it’s easy to slip into the same routine by making love on the same night at home, in the same position, using the same foreplay techniques, and using the same “insider information” about how to get you there. But this is not the way to maintain a fulfilling emotional connection and it does nothing to foster intimacy between you and your partner. So, take some time apart to re-ignite your desire to connect in different ways.
Another important way to make love more connected is to slow down when you make love on one week and ramp up the pace dramatically when you make love the next week. One week can seem like nothing but a breeze compared to two or three weeks later. The trick is to make sure your physical actions mirror your emotional ones so that your emotional connection grows and your physical intimacy develops at a steady, even rate.
Finally, the biggest mistake many couples make when they are making love is skipping foreplay altogether. Yes, foreplay! Foreplay serves several purposes, including allowing your body to become lubricated with the various sexual oils and creams, preparing your woman’s clitoris for penetration, and creating a more intimate environment so that both of you can feel really close to one another. By skipping foreplay, you run the risk of never being able to create this intimate connection because you were too tired or too turned on to even begin making love. And, in a relationship where the emotional connection is everything, missing out on this element could have serious ramifications for your relationship.
All of these different things that you do when you are making love affects not only the physical, but the emotional, and the mental aspects as well. When you create these different things from the beginning of your relationship, you will have long-term memories that will stick with you and make sex far more memorable than just any random act. You will be happier and have a better sex life.
